I’ve been fairly quiet in life, not just on my blog but in all aspects. I have continued to retreat and lick my wounds whilst ‘A’ takes more victims inside of me. (‘A’ has now taken over the part of me that didn’t fear venturing outside)
‘A’s sidekick grief has been quiet, I’m not sure whether they split up to cover more ground and grief got lost. (Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining, I hope the ugly thing stays lost forever). I’m also not stupid and know that it’s probably morphed into a bigger predator and is stalking me silently, awaiting the perfect moment to spring back onto me.
I’m currently not an early bird or a night owl instead I am a permanently exhausted pigeon.
If they cut my brain open they would find it filled with jelly and blancmange.
I’ve made a pact with myself though, tomorrow is a new week and aslong as the Vikings (NFL) win (probably even if they don’t but I’ll be less enthusiastic) I will be getting up early every day and starting my yoga regime.
‘A’s bodyguard depression is kicking my arse and it’s about time I started to fight back. (At least then I can be a ripped exhausted pigeon!)
It’s so hard to motivate myself to get going when I already feel I’ve run a 7 day marathon in my mind.
- Anyone have any tips?
I’m either a dribbling tired mess or an irritated grumpy crab at the moment. I have no tolerance for life.
Last week my laptop decided to go at a snail’s pace when starting up (this irritated me), then Windows spent an HOUR doing updates (bloods boiling by now) to then be welcomed by the blue screen of death (patience meter explodes). I tried EVERYTHING to recover it but in the end I lost my temper and launched it out of my top floor window (yes you read that right…insert eye rolling emoji here).
I then spent ages researching a replacement to find that the one I want is sold out in the entire universe so I retreated back into my shell and gave up.
Why are small tasks that should be easy such hard work?! Urgh!
When my sister asked where my laptop was the other day I calmly told her I’d thrown it out the upstairs window (then proceeded off the subject and offered her a cup of tea as if it was an extremely normal thing to do) her face was a Kodak moment and actually made me smile (inside). That aside it also alerted me to the fact that it wasn’t a normal thing to do ‘re-enforcing my self hate. (‘A’ revels in these moments!)
Commence mantra and march on…
- Keep fighting
- Keep moving forward
- I can do this
- I will do this
- ‘A’ WONT keep me down
(One day I’ll start to believe this…until that time I’ll keep repeating it to myself…)
P.s VIKINGS, VIKINGS, VIKINGS, VIKINGS!!!